I don’t consider myself a dirty person but sometimes I just don’t feel like washing myself. It seems like such a waste – I’ll get dirty again anyway. What’s the point?
I believe I cracked the code and figured out a solution to my hygiene conundrum. I invented the half shower (patent pending).
A half shower is a regular shower. It can be as hot or cold as you wish but the only difference is that you don’t use any shampoo, soap or moisturizers. You just rinse yourself with water and that’s it. It usually lasts from 30 seconds to 1-2 minutes.
- saving heaps of time and God knows my time is extremely expensive
- frequent washing with soap and shampoo kills too many bacteria on your skin (even the good ones) and thus compromises your body’s ability to fight diseases and other bad guys
- good for the environment
There you have it. Remember if you’re having half showers you’re in breach of copyright law and owe me royalties.
PS: an even cheaper version of the above is just walking/running/dancing in the rain in your shorts/underwear or just nude. STREAKING!!!